JACQUES


i on u! I'm the fat pumpkin! i on u!



Master Jacques, the Ratcatcher General of Burley, is a portly grey and white tabby warlock, who uses his psychic powers to divine the future from the murky depths of his crystal litter tray:


Feline Fortunes for Samhain up to Bonfire Night - Master Jacques

There is a Chick in my tray this week. Yes, one of those tiny fluffy things, yellow that jump out of eggs unexpectedly, a symbol of new life and birth. As the year's wheel turns and we honour our ancestors this week, all of those who have gone before us under the wheels of speeding cars; drowned as kittens in pillowcases (for they are surely in Slumberland now); cruelly tortured in cosmetics factories to "beautify" vain humans, let us not forget that it is also a time of hope and new beginnings - for those poor kits unfortunate enough to have been born into this often cruel and evil world. I can also divine a running man amongst the mess, (nothing to do with Arnie), dashing to the vets if he has any common sense. Go and get yourself snipped! Now! Make your human take you! Go bite them now! Before you bring any more hapless creatures into this world to suffer a horrid death. For remember, you yourself are fortunate to be cared for. Be a responsible Creature. After all, this is a good time for surgery - it's too cold to go out anyhow. You can relax and be pampered by the fire once its done, with tasty pastry salmon delights, which I can also see in the depths of the tray ... oops, thats last night's supper - Sorry ...


move on up - towards your destination ...

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